Back at work

Today I am back at work. Not at home. Not holding my baby. Not kissing her chubby cheeks. Not running Evan to the bathroom. I'm at my desk staring at two glass doors.

 

 

The last two nights I haven't been able to stop crying. This morning at Cindy's I held it together until it was time to leave. Then I cried almost all the way to work. At least I was smart enough to stick my mascara tube in my pocket and wait to apply it until I was less emotional. This morning when I woke Luke, he rolled over and said "I don't think I can handle this, Mom."

 

Me either, son. Me either.

I found this hat at Hobby Lobby of all places and I couldn't leave the store without it.

I've tried to look at the bright side- I can do Christmas shopping on my lunch break and not have little eyes watching me. But that's about it. And it's not a very good bright side.

BUT. I realize I have to do what I have to do to provide for my family. It's not fair that I'm the sole bread winner when it's not what I was designed to be, but life isn't fair. It never has been and it never will be. I am blessed with the moral support that I have surrounding me and the fact that I AM able to provide for my children.

The rest of the post is just pictures from my phone from the last week!

We watched several movies in my time off, and I've introduced Luke to the wonder that is hot cider and hot chocolate while huddled under a blanket. It was such a sweet time with him.

Elyse at 6 weeks with my 6 week picture. I keep thinking she looks more like me than people realize, but then when I compare I see she doesn't. There's a family resemblance, but that's about it.

 

It was only a matter of time before Evan realized she could fit inside the dryer.

For about a week straight Elyse blew out her diaper at least once a day. She did Thanksgiving day at Mom's house, and then again the next night when I popped over for a leftover dinner. Neither day had I put her spare outfit in the diaper bag, so both times she had to go home in a blanket. Don't worry. I've put the spare outfit in the bag now (and she hasn't had a blowout since).

Harry Potter night! It was too hot for the blanket, but not for hot chocolate! The empty cups aren't pictured, but their fascination with HP is. Starting all my babies out right. :)