Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It has a moral

Tonight after church I ran to Target to buy a pillow and some curtains (more about why they were needed coming soon). On my way up to the cash register I decided to take a quick peek at the bathing suits. Now, I don't particularly need a new suit- I just ordered one on line and I'm waiting for it to get here. But it's a bikini, like usual, and on Saturday I'm going to a three year old's water park party where all of the other moms will be dressed in a suit a bit more conservative. I guess you could say I've never been one to take the more modest road. So I took a detour tonight through Target's one-piece section and let me tell you it was awful. Now I remember why I get a bikini- because I'm not 80. I finally found one on the sale rack (perfect since I would only be wearing it the one time) that looked pretty cute on the hanger, so I proceeded to try it on. Holy. Crap. It. Looked. Horrible. It bulged in places it shouldn't, cut my legs off inches below normal, and flattened me more than a Dr. Pepper sitting on the counter all day. There was DEFINITELY a reason it was on sale for $8. Moral of the story: Don't ever, I repeat, DON'T EVER try on a sales one piece bathing suit when you have not spent the day mentally preparing for what will show up in the mirror. Keep on walking and come back on a day that you feel really good about yourself.

Now, a little quip about repeating. Tonight at church there was a guest preacher who was not so great. He was very good at the dramatic pauses that must be taught in preacher's school, because he isn't the only one I've heard do it. You know, where they draw out the last vowel in each word and pause dramatically so you ge-----t thi------s effe------ct. Also, the guy told example after example after example and just repeated the same phrase after each one to tie it all in. Oh my goodness it was a beating. At the end he said that he had to go study because in whatever class he is currently enrolled in he had to preach to everyone tomorrow. I wondered if he was going to preach the sermon that he did tonight, like if he was trying it out before he got in a room full of peers and was judged by it. I wanted to go ask him and give him a few friendly pointers about it, but Mom said no.

1 comment:

John said...

Really? I thought it was pretty awesome.

Also, FYI my bathing suit cost $8 and I look pretty stinkin' hot.