Anyway, here are some. And these don't even include the millions of picture ones I tweet.
-After multiple layout days in the same spot getting covered by the same ants (who's bed I can't find), I just realized I can move.
-Look at de hole in dis strawburry. It's like a squirrel hole. Isn't that amazing?!
-All things the 3 year old has said this morning. Before 6:45. On a day I took PTO.
-Mommy, why don't you just get up before de awarm. I don't wike dat fing. It's too woud.
-Mommy, the Santa Fe train doesn't go wif the coal car. The coal car goes wif the steam engine. Don't do that.
-Mommy, sumfings going on wif me. I fink I need to eat or my tummy will hurt.
-Holy craft balls. This is taking days longer than I thought. DAYS. http://instagr.am/p/JljSd3g7I0/
-Passed a 70's Winnebego on my way to work that had been made into a traveling pet photography booth. I've seen it all.
-When I am not eating I see people talk about eating clean and it sounds not so bad. Then I open my desk drawer & get wooed by coconut M&Ms.
-I tried to 'exercise' this morning (aka jog in place while the shower heats up), & my boob sprung a leak so I didn't. I'll skip extra cake.
-So I can't check twitter while E plays in the tub anymore. I'm sitting on the side & facing her, but I look up and she's STANDING BESIDE me.
-Luke is shouting at me from his dark room "Go to bed!" Not gonna, just because he wants me to. I'm rebelling against a 3 year old.
-OMG. The "why" phase is in full swing. Send help. Send help with answers.
-I give in. How can I be irritated with them when they love each other so much. My babies. http://instagr.am/p/JZvQVPA7KH/
-Just saw a pin on pinterest about "foods that melt away flab" The iced brownie I had for breakfast wasn't on there. Boo.
-The Thong Song just came on the radio. Hello summer of 99. What a classy song. #bringingbackhighschool
-Would anyone judge me if I said I really just wanna be a trophy wife? Is that allowed?
-Luke wouldn't eat sauce on his spaghetti. I made him suck a tube of Evan's spinach mango pear baby food instead. Winning?