First birthday

Well, my baby's first birthday is over. He made off pretty good, and I'm pleased with how his party turned out. But what really gets me is that he has been with us for only a year, yet I feel like he has been apart of our lives forever. I can't believe that one year ago today I was in the hospital with a brand new baby. A year ago a whole new life came into existants that wasn't there before. A year ago I took on a whole new role that shook me to my inner core- this feels more like my first Mother's Day than actual Mother's day did. Today is the day I became a mother, it's my first anniversary. On Mother's Day no one asks you how long you've been a mother like they do for marriage anniversaries, but this feels like just as big of an accomplishment. Over the past year I have learned more and grown more than I ever thought I could. I knew that mothers loved their kids to death, but I didn't know how earth moving it could be. I have never felt pride like this- I could literally gush for hours about him (thankfully I am also aware of how annoying it is to others so I hold back most of the time). When he is sad I will move the sky to make it better. Hungry? No one else in the world better get food before my kid does. Why would I buy something for myself when I could spend the money on a new toy or cute new size 12 month shirt? I am excited to see him continue to grow, but it also breaks my heart that I no longer have an infant. Has it really been a year? 365 whole days? Surely not. Am I going to wake up tomorrow and it be his second birthday already? I sure hope not. I hope this year goes by slowly. So good night little boy. Dream big dreams, but lets wait awhile to make them come true.

The cake! He didn't want to blow out the candles, but he sure did want to touch the bright glowing things on top.

Yummmm.... my own cake.

Not our best family photo, but it's all we could get. Little Mr. was overwhelmed from all the people.

Updates

Before I begin, I have to ask a question. Do you ever carry an inner monologue about your life as if it were a voice over in a movie? I do sometimes. Like, sometimes when I'm doing something really mundane (like make the bed or fold clothes) I pretend that someone is narrating a deep insight to life as I move through the 'scene'. Is that weird? Oh, and no, I don't talk to my self. That's why it's called an inner monologue. I'm just bored.

Here are a few updates on what Luke is doing now:
-Off bottles and on whole milk (we just quit cold turkey on Monday)
-Facing front in the car
-Swimming
-Drinking from a straw (the first time he did this I didn't realize he could so he accidentally got some soda. Bad Mommy!)
-Eats whole foods without being cut up (as in bites off a banana or strawberry, not as in eating a steak)
-Throwing temper tantrums and physically showing frustration (fun.)
-Getting two more teeth
-Got his first hair cut

I thought I had a stinkin cute baby yesterday, but today after his haircut I have an even handsome-er baby! And this kid LOVES to swim. He tires to doggy paddle away from me and swim alone. I am including pictures of this two events:

He didn't want to wear the sunglasses. I made him go swimming in the hat and shirt and shorts. No sun for us please!

Snug as a bug and ready to go home. You can't see it, but the towel is embroidered with his name on one side, and the saying "Dear God please tell Mommy cowboys don't take baths."

About to get the chop. And totally crusin'. But not for a brusin'.

So pretty!

It has a moral

Tonight after church I ran to Target to buy a pillow and some curtains (more about why they were needed coming soon). On my way up to the cash register I decided to take a quick peek at the bathing suits. Now, I don't particularly need a new suit- I just ordered one on line and I'm waiting for it to get here. But it's a bikini, like usual, and on Saturday I'm going to a three year old's water park party where all of the other moms will be dressed in a suit a bit more conservative. I guess you could say I've never been one to take the more modest road. So I took a detour tonight through Target's one-piece section and let me tell you it was awful. Now I remember why I get a bikini- because I'm not 80. I finally found one on the sale rack (perfect since I would only be wearing it the one time) that looked pretty cute on the hanger, so I proceeded to try it on. Holy. Crap. It. Looked. Horrible. It bulged in places it shouldn't, cut my legs off inches below normal, and flattened me more than a Dr. Pepper sitting on the counter all day. There was DEFINITELY a reason it was on sale for $8. Moral of the story: Don't ever, I repeat, DON'T EVER try on a sales one piece bathing suit when you have not spent the day mentally preparing for what will show up in the mirror. Keep on walking and come back on a day that you feel really good about yourself.

Now, a little quip about repeating. Tonight at church there was a guest preacher who was not so great. He was very good at the dramatic pauses that must be taught in preacher's school, because he isn't the only one I've heard do it. You know, where they draw out the last vowel in each word and pause dramatically so you ge-----t thi------s effe------ct. Also, the guy told example after example after example and just repeated the same phrase after each one to tie it all in. Oh my goodness it was a beating. At the end he said that he had to go study because in whatever class he is currently enrolled in he had to preach to everyone tomorrow. I wondered if he was going to preach the sermon that he did tonight, like if he was trying it out before he got in a room full of peers and was judged by it. I wanted to go ask him and give him a few friendly pointers about it, but Mom said no.

Still learning

Why don't people tell you the really important things in life? Why isn't there a class in college or high school that you can take that gives you random facts about life that will make the years easier? Nooooooooo. All the adults think you need to "learn for yourself" how things go in the world. Wouldn't it be easier if someone told you up front:

-Cleaning things is much better with gloves on. You don't get nearly as grossed out and not only are you more likely to get down to the nasty stuff, you might even do it more frequently so that it doesn't get nasty in the first place.

-When your dog makes fish farts, it's generally time to get their glands expressed.

-You have to change the filter in your home's a/c unit more than once every couple of years.

-Laundry and yard work does not get more fun as you get older. And vegetables don't taste better either.

-Kids are expensive.

-Children are not like dogs. Once they get too expensive you can't just give them away.

-No matter how expensive kids are, you love them more than life itself and would never give them away.

-Coming up with three different meals a day, every day, is one of the worst jobs. Has Willie Wonka's meal gum made it through FDA yet?

-Own your quirks. I don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't embraced my love for popping zits.

-Obsession really isn't an answer.

Okay. That's all I can think of at the moment. Now I will leave you with an incredibly cute picture of my incredibly cute baby.

Can't...stop...laughing....

At this moment (yes, picture it, I am honestly typing as all of this is happening) Cody is begging me to open my birthday present from him. He is waving it in my face, telling me he can't wait any longer. WHAT?!? HE can't wait any longer for me to open MY present? It just got to the point where he said he was just going to open it in front of me. I still refused. Silly boy. He still has 5 more days until I will unwrap it! Oops, now he wants me to just hold it and feel the weight. Now I'm supposed to jiggle it a little. Now it's in my lap. Last night he told me to guess what it was, and if I guessed right he was going to give it to me right then. I didn't make any guesses because I knew after the first guess, right or wrong, he would spill the beans and tell me what it is. Maybe this is why he normally waits until the day before an occassion to buy my present. *whew* Crisis was diverted due to his needing to read a book on the throne. ;)

On a totally different note- Everyone say a prayer right now! (You know, the whole 2 of you who actually read this) Cody got an interview for the hospital job! It's a phone interview tomorrow at 1. Although, Cody said something about that being mountain time, so it could be at 2. Or is mountain time behind us and it's at 12? Or is the guy going to call him 1:00 our time and 2 (or 12:00, whatever) his time? Regardless of what the time may be, I told Cody to plug in his phone tonight so there is no risk of a dead battery situation. Hmmm....anything else new to report? Oh, I finally cleaned the floors today. This has been the longest I've ever gone between cleanings, it took 2 dry swiffers and 4 wet swiffers to make me feel like cleanliness had been restored. Nasty. Tomorrow: the kitchen!

It is finished

The chapter is done, the book is closed. I am no longer able to say that I am a teacher. But I do like what a friend told me yesterday, that I will always be a teacher at heart- I'm just not currently going to get paid to do it, and that is so true. I don't know if I will ever let go of the feeling of the title in my heart. While I am NOT sad about leaving that school, or dealing with a few of the kids that were in my stack of cards, I am going to miss the pride. The pride you feel when you talk about YOUR class. YOUR kids. YOUR little people who look up to you to give them everything they need for 8 hours- love, attention, fairness, a listening ear, patients, and new knowledge about things they could only dream of before. It's this romantic notion of what being a teacher is that gets you in the down times and pulls you through the really rough parts, so that some how you are able to forget all the awful things, like little boys who scream at you and run around the classroom hiding under tables, or little girls who are convinced that they too are the teacher and very rudely try to do your job.

But the good and the bad are done with. Now it is on to party planning! Today I ordered Luke's big boy car seat (in three weeks he finally gets to turn around and face me in the car!) and all of his party supplies. I feel like I have done nothing but spend money the last couple of days! I also am desperate to do something about my house. There is stuff everywhere, and I do not function well in clutter or chaos. I brought a bunch of stuff home from school that I will be able to use around the house (as opposed to stuffing it in a box to be forgotten in the attic) and I have not had a chance to organize everything. I feel so overwhelmed by it all I just stared at it today! Tomorrow I HAVE to start at least with one room. Well, tomorrow is Sunday, so maybe Monday. ;)

No other way

Well, I couldn't ever get that video to upload, I think it was too big. So I just put it on my You Tube account. Here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncpGbK7QjzI

Last night as I got ready for bed I got to thinking- why do I always get hungry at the wrong time? It's like my body knows "hey, it is a totally inappropriate time to eat, so lets set that tummy to growling." It's very annoying. Also, why is the phrase "clean as a whistle" used when something is clean? I don't know about your whistle, but my whistle is covered in not only my spit, but the spit of a 4 year old AU kid with an affinity to whistles, little fingerprints, and dirt. Not exactly my definition of clean.

Long day is over

You know that Norah Jones song- The Long is Over? That was totally today. It wasn't bad, just long after being gone all weekend. Our kindergarten performance was tonight, and my kiddos have been working really hard on it. They were so cute! But going back up to school two hours after you leave is not ideal when you have only the cutest baby in the world waiting on you! I did get a lot accomplished during my "down time" though- I got a new cell phone! I love it and I feel so.......professional? I don't know exactly to label the feeling but it's great! I also got supplies to make Luke's birthday invitations. Aaahhhh! I am no where near ready for my baby to turn one. :( Contrary to popular belief it is not cheaper to make your own invitations, but they will be MUCH cuter than the premade ones I had seen. But the biggest news of all, Cody maybe has an interview at a hospital! If he managed to score this job it would be a huge answered pray to replacing my paycheck when it piddles out in August. All I ask, no, all I BEG is that EVERYONE get down on their knees and petition our Father to bless us in this way. I am convinced that our financial situation will work out and we will be okay, and it is so exciting that this could be it. If it's not though, it's not the end of the world. The answer is still out there.

I didn't get to say much about our trip this weekend. It was fun and beautiful, and my darling son showed off his new trick a whole bunch. This video just about sums it up (and at the end of it I do a spin around so that you can see the beautiful river we were at!). *Edit* I tried to add the video last night and it took so long to upload I finally went to bed. This morning it said there was an error and it couldn't be processed. boo. Maybe I'll try again this afternoon to add it.

Home Alone

Who let the cable company run episodes of Law and Order while ladies are home alone? *sigh* I have come to realize the two factors do not mix well in my home. Last night I had this terrible dream and I woke up at 2:30 convinced something was going to go wrong, or at the very least I wouldn't be sleeping anymore that night due to an over active imagination turning every bug sound into a burglar. I knew I shouldn't have watched that last episode of SVU right before I went to bed. Buuuuuut, 20 minutes later I was sound asleep and past the drama. If I can make it through tonight I will be golden! Tomorrow Luke and I are leaving with Mom, Dad, and Ashley to go to a lake cabin in Oklahoma. Family vacay anyone? Cody will be getting back on Saturday, so he will just miss us. Just one more reason for me to be ecstatic about this trip he's on. If anyone cares, I talked to him tonight and he's still alive.

Does this uneasy feeling about staying alone in your own house go away as you get older? When you are a child, it never occurs to you that Mom might be a little insecure to be staying home while Dad is gone. You just assume that there is a grown up there so everything will be okay. Is this a secret no one bothers to tell you? Like grown ups don't really like all the vegetables either, or scary movies are still scary? Will I grow past all of this stuff when I'm older, or will I be 60 and still hate it when I have to sleep in my own house alone. Do men feel this way when their wives go out of town? Probably not. I do have a deep sense of pride though, knowing that I got through this entire week alone. I know that, if for what ever reason, I had to do this alone I am strong enough to make it. Not only make it, but be productive and do more than just survive. I managed to take care of my baby and get everything done at school, and this was a ridiculously busy week. Could I do it by myself? Absolutely. Do I want to? Nah- it sure is nice to have someone else to change the millionth stinky diaper when I really don't want to, or have someone to talk to over dinner, or hug me when I really need it.

Two liberations

Lately I have not been turning on my laptop in the living room, but have just used the desktop in the computer room to check email and facebook. I must say it's been oddly liberating not having the option of compulsively checking my various accounts every thirty seconds. I am actually down to once every hour or so! For me personally that is a huge accomplishment- I am one of those sad people that know the instant my inbox has received something or someone has updated their status. Sad really. All this empty time on my hands has got me to thinking. Why is it when we are feeling blue for a season of life, do we always forget about the things that make us smile? I heard one of my new favorite songs on Ellen today (yes, I DVR that show. I love it, okay!?) and I decided to get up and dance to it. I totally forgot how much I love to dance! It also kind of inspired me to do something about the flab I call a gut. There was also this beautiful super model on Ellen, which also may have had something to do with the inspiration. If she can look like that, why can't I? Oh yes, that's right.....I love to eat and don't get paid to workout. That's why. I did three crunches two days ago and was so proud of myself I ate two scoops of ice cream. Yummmm. It's this buttered pecan flavor I just got.

Anyway, back to the topic of odd liberation's, all the shows I enjoy are ending for the season and once again I have a slight release from the pressure of loving too many shows and not having enough time to really enjoy them all. Yes, I can DVR, and I do, but then once you have so many recorded shows you have to find time to watch them all. Why not just take the time when it comes on and be done with it? Hmm. It sounds like I need a break from t.v. and internet. Nah. That would be to easy.