Thursday, May 21, 2009

Home Alone

Who let the cable company run episodes of Law and Order while ladies are home alone? *sigh* I have come to realize the two factors do not mix well in my home. Last night I had this terrible dream and I woke up at 2:30 convinced something was going to go wrong, or at the very least I wouldn't be sleeping anymore that night due to an over active imagination turning every bug sound into a burglar. I knew I shouldn't have watched that last episode of SVU right before I went to bed. Buuuuuut, 20 minutes later I was sound asleep and past the drama. If I can make it through tonight I will be golden! Tomorrow Luke and I are leaving with Mom, Dad, and Ashley to go to a lake cabin in Oklahoma. Family vacay anyone? Cody will be getting back on Saturday, so he will just miss us. Just one more reason for me to be ecstatic about this trip he's on. If anyone cares, I talked to him tonight and he's still alive.

Does this uneasy feeling about staying alone in your own house go away as you get older? When you are a child, it never occurs to you that Mom might be a little insecure to be staying home while Dad is gone. You just assume that there is a grown up there so everything will be okay. Is this a secret no one bothers to tell you? Like grown ups don't really like all the vegetables either, or scary movies are still scary? Will I grow past all of this stuff when I'm older, or will I be 60 and still hate it when I have to sleep in my own house alone. Do men feel this way when their wives go out of town? Probably not. I do have a deep sense of pride though, knowing that I got through this entire week alone. I know that, if for what ever reason, I had to do this alone I am strong enough to make it. Not only make it, but be productive and do more than just survive. I managed to take care of my baby and get everything done at school, and this was a ridiculously busy week. Could I do it by myself? Absolutely. Do I want to? Nah- it sure is nice to have someone else to change the millionth stinky diaper when I really don't want to, or have someone to talk to over dinner, or hug me when I really need it.

1 comment:

The Shirley's said...

Can I just say I second your comments on being home alone... I have to admit, I may just pack up my dog and go over to my parents if Zach isn't home. I even have this stupid fear of going upstairs when Zach isn't home and it's dark outside. I wonder how I will get out if someone comes in downstairs and I'm stuck upstairs... I guess I'll jump out the window. Just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one to get scared. And no... they don't tell you that when you are little.