The day she was supposed to come home

Last night and this morning were just lovely.  After the family left, I held on to Evan a little bit longer than I meant to, I just couldn't let her go back to the nursery yet.  I hadn't been able to have any skin to skin action since right after she was born, so I decided it was time to indulge.  Of course when she got close she acted like she wanted to eat, and even though it was a bit early to nurse, I made the Momma-privileged executive decision that I would nurse her anyway.  It was so nice to have the quiet bonding time with just the two of us.  Then I had the nurse come and get her so I could get some sleep, and I was only awaken at 2 to feed her. 

This morning I was up early so I showered up and headed down to the nursery.  I brought her back to the room and by 7:30 she was feeding again, and afterwards we had a whole morning of just the two of us in the quiet.  Then the unfortunate happened.  Her pediatrician finally got to check her out and decided that she needed to stay another 24 hours.  My doctor was on her way to discharge me.  The pediatrician gave me all the reasons that she was keeping Evan for one more night, but I didn't hear them.  I was stuck on "one more night".  A night I would be at home.  I know that lots of people leave their babies in the hospital extra time for much much longer than a night.  A good friend of mine has had her twin boys in the NICU (we were there together actually!  It was so nice to have a friendly face!) for two weeks now and they aren't sure when they will get to come home.  But still.  After everything that had happened I never thought when I drove up to the hospital I would drive away without my girl. 

I stayed to nurse her at the 2:00 feeding, then we were on our way.  Cody took me to Cheesecake Factory for a late lunch, then it was home to unpack and pump.  I didn't go up to the 5:00 feeding, I stayed home with Luke, which was nice.  I feel like he's grown up so much in the last few days!  It's the weirdest feeling!  I went back up to the hospital at 7:30 to feed her, and stayed for about an hour.  Now I'm home again and will just pump through the night until her 8:00 morning feed, which I plan to be at.  As hard as it was to leave her, it was so nice to be able to play with, bathe, read to, and tuck in my big boy.  Cause he sure is a big boy now!  Send  prayers that she will be home by early afternoon tomorrow!